y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
