I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
