He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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