I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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