i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i think i just lost a toe
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
