I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just threw up on my dentist
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
