What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
