you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
