why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
