Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
