This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
