and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
