She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
