Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
