your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
