grandma shit on top of the toilet
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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