I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
