In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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