Pappa wants mamma naked
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
