I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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