Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
