I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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