Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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