I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
