I heard we made out
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
