Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
