Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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