woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
