omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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