hotel room ftw
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
