So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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