its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
