I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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