He had one of those small greek statue penises
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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