Got a toothbrush?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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