Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
soo... how was my night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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