Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
