shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
