i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
