I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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