I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
