I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
