thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
