She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
