i think i have herpe
just one?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
