is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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