Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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