On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
