you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
