it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
